*NSFW!!!*
MELANCHOLIA (2011)
I wrote about this a long time ago before anyone read my shit and then reposted it once when I had writer’s block – you could read that in depth and very important piece HERE if you liked, otherwise we’ll use it as a companion to the Tom Cruise movie below. Oh – and we’ll use this space today to showcase something very amazing in the GIF below this one.
Kirsten Dunst plays a depressed bride to be who goes around fucking strangers on golf course greens. Her sister is the chick who fucks everyone in England in those Nymphomaniac movies, Kiefer Sutherland kills himself in real life for being in this movie and then a planet collides with Earth which defies any science or logic. I figure this movie is OK – at best – but there’s so much shaky cam you might just vomit. I’ve seen four Von Trier movies and this is the only one I could say that I liked. At least no one, male or female, gets their junk mutilated in this thing. P.S.:
MAGNOLIA (1999)
In this movie with a cast of thousands, Tom Cruise plays a motivational speaker who wants me to “Tame that Pussy!”, Jason Robards plays a dead man, Melora Walters is the best thing about this and we remember that John C. Reilly was actually a good actor before he became Will Ferrell’s sidekick. Literally dozens of different things are going on at the same time and then they all converge together after a fucking musical number. Oh – and this came up when I googled “Melora Walters Magnolia”:
I can’t tell if that’s Kate Winslet or Kelly McDonald or just some random woman getting a bath in Reut’s pond but I don’t think I’ll complain. Magnolia is a really good movie – although it’s too long – and should be considered a classic when you think of the composition behind it. Has anyone ever noticed the new thumbnail I use for these posts????
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And that is your latest from the Half Ass Reviews division of THE IPC.
Want to be a member of the Half Ass Reviews Department of THE IPC??? Let me know in the comments or email me at ei@theipc.me
